And I Feel Fine
by Harryfan626
Summary: "Where is she?" Derek had asked. Adele knew that "That is not the 'she' he was asking for." And so did Derek. So he went to find her, scared and traumatized after spending hours with her hand touching a bomb. Derek went to find Meredith. After season 2, As We Know It


**Author's Note: Recently I marathoned all of Grey's Anatomy and ever since I keep getting ideas for stories so here is one of them. This is the first story I've published in a while. It's a one shot. Also I'm in college now which is weird because I mean I was in middle school when I first started publishing on fanfiction. Also I really like the title of this fic,** _ **And I Feel Fine**_ **because it comes directly after the episodes** _ **It's the End of The World**_ **and** _ **As We Know It**_ **so I'm proud of myself for no reason.**

 **Disclaimer: None of the characters, settings, or devices are mine. I simply changed a little detail. Everything is property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. This is none profit.**

* * *

The patient was alive, Burke was upstairs, everything seemed to have worked out perfectly so Derek just assumed she would be there. She should be there, talking to the patient's wife or the scared EMT but Meredith was nowhere in sight. Derek began to panic. He knew she got her hand out, and that the bomb was removed by professionals but she was not there. He took a lap around the floor, and then another. He did not see her or any of the interns, her family. Derek was pacing. He knew people were starting to stare that he was some frantic surgeon probably scaring people after an already difficult day but he did not care. Meredith was all that mattered.

Chief Webber approached him, watching as Derek desperately looked back and forth. He turned to the chief, his eyes wide, and asked "Where is she?"

"You had to be a cowboy." Richard replied as Derek continued anxiously searching for her.

Derek spun in a circle, still looking, pivoting on his feet and asked again "Where, where is she?"

The Chief looked down towards his wife, Adele. He understood Derek's panic, if he was not standing next to his wife, after a bomb exploded, he would probably be doing the same thing. Richard felt a sense of relief with the fact Derek was so worried about Addison; he would have to worry less about Meredith. He thought Addison was better for Derek and that Meredith was better without him. Seeing Derek so anxious for his wife was a good sign, things were improving after such a terrible day. Looking down the hallway Richard spotted Addison hurrying towards her husband.

Richard smiled inside as he said, "She's right here." Derek closed his eyes for a moment as if thanking a greater power for her being there. When he opened his eyes he looked down the hallway only to drop his eyes in disappointment.

"Derek," Addison said, "You're okay." She wrapped him tightly in her arms, relief evident in her face. She clung to her husband and he disappointedly lowered his head toward her shoulder, hugging her back with much less emotion. Addison sighed, at ease after a terrifying day, "Oh, you're okay."

Next to the Chief, Adele watched the couple reunite. Her mouth opened slowly as realization dawned on her. Derek looked up from his wife, his body still wracked with tension. His eyes are trained on Richard, a mix of fear, anger, and disappointment shining. Understanding, Adele leaned in towards Richard and told him, "That is not the 'she' he was asking for." As Adele began walking away from her husband Derek looked down in guilt before removing himself from Addison's grip.

"I'm sorry," Derek said to her before turning to the Chief, "Meredith. I meant Meredith. Where is she?" Addison wrapped her arms around herself as she watched her husband panic over another woman. The panic evident in her husband would be the straw that broke the camel's back, she knew it, if after a bomb Derek goes running towards Meredith and away from her their marriage is over. She doesn't try to stop him.

Richard sighed; he had hoped Derek was better than this, "She's not your concern, Dr. Shepherd."

Stepping away from Addison, Derek squared off in front of Richard, "Where is she?" He was angrier this time, more worried than before.

"Drs. Stevens and Yang are taking care of her; she is none of your concern."

Pushing past the Chief, Derek hissed, "You're wrong." He hurried towards to stairs, taking them two at a time as he sprinted towards the intern's locker room. Derek hoped beyond hope that they were there. Addison and Richard stood next to each other as they watched the neurosurgeon run away, both accepting with the situation but hating that it was happening. Turning away, Addison mumbled something incoherent about paperwork and began walking towards the nurse's station praying that her tears would not start to fall until she was in the shelter of a storage closet.

Bursting into the locker room Derek found it empty of anyone except for George who was sitting on the floor, his head against the lockers with his eyes closed. Sighing, Derek walked in and slid to the ground next to the intern, mirroring his position.

"You shouldn't try to see her," George said, knowing without needing to open his eyes who was next to him, "She's been through enough today." He did not elaborate, knowing that Derek understood his message. George was protecting Meredith; he was trying to stop her emotions to be meddled with after coming face to face with death.

"I'm not going to hurt her." Derek seemed to breathe the words out.

George let out a laugh, "You're track record proves otherwise."

"That was before…" Derek could not bring himself to finish the sentence.

"Before she almost died," George agreed, "I know."

Derek asked George what had seemed to be his mantra for the day, "Where is she?"

"They took her home."

* * *

Cristina and Izzie helped Meredith into her sweat pants and shirt after her second post-bomb shower. They led her into bed and pulled the covers up around her as she pulled a pillow towards her chest and stared blindly in front of her, eyes glazed over. Telling Meredith they would be down stairs if she needed anything, her friends left her alone to deal with the events of the day.

As they settled into the kitchen, whispering about how they could not believe this happened and how thankful they were that Meredith was okay, they heard a light knock on the door. It was so soft they were not sure anyone was there until Izzie opened the door. Standing on the front porch was Derek Shepherd. He was changed out of his scrubs but judging by the disarray of his clothing he did so in a hurry. There were deep bags under his eyes and he looked almost broken. Before Izzie could ask what he wanted he practically begged to see her. Leaving Derek standing in the rain, Izzie went to talk to Cristina. She was not sure if she should let him see her and decided Meredith's "person" would know what to do. Nodding, Cristina told Izzie to let him in.

Meredith did not look up when Izzie knocked on her door and came in. Her eyes were focused on the window watching the raindrops slide down the glass.

"There's someone at the door for you."

Slowly, Meredith pulled herself from bed. She felt like she was moving in slow motion, so disoriented after believing she was going to die and then watching two men disappear before her very eyes. Coming down the stairs, her eyes fall on him immediately. Meredith did not know who she expected but Derek was not them. She came to stand in front of him watching as the tension left his shoulders and relief washed over him just from seeing her alive.

"Hey."

The word barely made a sound, Derek's so overcome by emotion that the effort to pass enough air through him to actually speak seems impossible. "Hey." Never in his life had Derek been more comforted to see someone standing before him, just breathing, "You almost died today."

"Yeah," Meredith repeats his words, "I almost died today."

His eyes are welling with tears and Derek steps forward, trying to think of what to say to her next. They are staring at each other, all but frozen in time, until Derek begins to back away. He's almost out the door when they both speak at the same time.

"I can't-" Meredith said. "I tried-" Derek said.

They both stop. A breath passes.

"I tried to find you. Today, I mean. Richard told me you were none of my concern but, Meredith, god, you will always be my concern." Derek said.

They both stop. Another breath passes.

Meredith said, "I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss."

Derek smiled slightly, a small broken smile that barely graces his lips, "You don't have to." She looks at him hurt, "Remember our last kiss, I mean. After today, I just knew. I can't live without you. I've never been more scared today. Never. And so, I signed the papers before coming here."

Shocked, Meredith asks, "The papers?"

His smile grew a little wider as he watched her try to process the information, "The divorce papers." Derek walks closer to her, giving her ample time to back away from him. She doesn't.

"I nearly died today." Meredith says again. Derek takes another step closer.

"You did." Derek agrees. Meredith takes a step towards him.

"And you signed the divorce papers today." She states. Again, Derek takes a step.

He agreed, "I did." Meredith takes another step.

They're now standing face to face, as close as they can be without touching.

Quieter, Meredith repeats, "I can't remember our last kiss."

Smiling a full-fledged McDreamy smile Derek tells her, "You don't have to."

His arms are wrapping around her as she leans up on her toes and in an instant they are kissing. They tighten the embrace, pouring not only the emotions of the day but the emotions of the past months apart into the kiss. Pulling away, Meredith and Derek smile at each other, holding each other's gaze. Then she leans back in and they are kissing again and he's picking her up as he kisses her and he's walking up the stairs as she's kissing him and her bedroom door closes behind them as they kiss each other.

He's divorced and she's alive, it's the end of the world as they know it and as she's kissing him, she feels fine. Meredith feels better than fine actually, she feels alive.


End file.
